Pride and Prejudice — Dictionary of Body Language and Etiquette

A guide to Regency-era physical manners, etiquette, and movement—the definitive standard for screen and stage direction. A wrong gesture destroys the credibility of a period drama.

1. Greetings

Bow (A Man’s Greeting)

Degree of Formality

Type	Movement	Use
Slight bow	Incline the head slightly, 4–5 degrees	Everyday greeting between social equals
Bow from the neck	Incline only the neck, 10–15 degrees	Standard greeting
Bow from the waist	Bend at the waist, 30–45 degrees	Formal; for a noblewoman or superior
Deep bow	60 degrees or more, with one foot slightly behind	Highest formality; royalty or a first meeting

Examples from the Novel

Darcy → Collins at the Ch.18 ball: a “slight bow,” deliberately condescending
Collins → everyone: Deep formality, signaling his hypocrisy
Wickham → Darcy in the street in Ch.15: “touched his hat,” barely acknowledging him

Translation Notes

“Bowed” should be visualized as a physical action, not reduced to “greeted.”
Degree of formality signals the relationship.

Curtsey (A Woman’s Greeting)

Types

Type	Movement	Use
Bob curtsey	Bend the knees lightly	Everyday
Half curtsey	Bend the knees further and lower the head	Standard
Full court curtsey	Place one foot far behind and bend the knees deeply	Court or highest formality

Details of the Movement

Hands: Lightly hold the sides of the dress or leave them naturally at rest
Eyes: Gaze slightly downward, more so with greater formality
Duration: Hold for one to two seconds

Examples from the Novel

Elizabeth → Darcy in Ch.30: “merely courtesied to him, without saying a word”—a bare curtsey + silence signals coldness
Maria Lucas → Lady Catherine: A deep curtsey, with nervousness

Handshake—Almost Never Used

In the Regency period, a handshake signaled intimacy and was not a routine greeting as it is today.
Never used at a first meeting.
In Ch.61, Miss Bingley “even shook hands” with Elizabeth—a sign of concession.

2. Conduct When Addressing Someone

Formal Introduction After a First Meeting

[Rules]
- A lower-ranking person is introduced to a higher-ranking person
- A man is introduced to a woman; the woman holds the social choice
- Speaking without an introduction is rude

[Procedure]
1. An intermediary stands between the two people
2. “Mr. Darcy, may I introduce Miss Elizabeth Bennet?”
   - The higher-ranking person’s name comes first
3. Both greet each other: bow + curtsey
4. Brief conversation may follow

[Examples from the Novel]
- Collins introduces himself to Darcy in Ch.18—rude; Darcy responds with contempt
- A master of ceremonies may introduce people at a ball

Hat Manners

Situation	Action
Greeting a woman	Raise the hat: touch + lift
Entering indoors	Remove the hat
Meeting an acquaintance	“Touched his hat”—Wickham and Darcy in Ch.15
Speaking with a woman	Raise the hat at the start, then hold it or tuck it under the arm

3. Manners at a Ball

Entrance

[Order]
1. Leave outerwear, hats, and gloves in the cloakroom
2. Wait briefly in the antechamber
3. Announce arrival to the master of ceremonies: “Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, with their daughters”
4. Enter the main hall
5. Greet the host and hostess

Procedure for Requesting a Dance

[A Man Approaching a Woman]
1. They must have been formally introduced
2. Approach, bow, and say: “May I have the honour of the next dance, Miss Bennet?”
3. If she accepts, stand beside her and converse until the music begins
4. When the music begins, move together to the dance line

Rules for Refusal

[Rules]
- If a woman refuses one man, convention forbids her from dancing that set with anyone
- Polite reasons: “I am engaged” or “I am too tired”
- An explicit refusal is a social insult

[Examples from the Novel]
- Ch.6: Elizabeth refuses Darcy—“I have not the least intention of dancing”
   = an insulting refusal, which instead fascinates Darcy
- Ch.18: Elizabeth accepts Darcy’s request “without knowing what she did”
   = an unconscious acceptance

Dance Movements

Country Dance (The Most Common)

[Formation]
- Two lines, one of men and one of women, face each other
- One couple begins at the end and gradually progresses down the line

[Movements]
1. Face each other and greet: bow + curtsey
2. Join hands and turn once
3. Four steps forward, then four back
4. Do-si-do—circle back-to-back
5. Repeat with the next couple down the line
6. One set lasts 30 minutes to an hour through repeated figures

How Hands Are Held

[Formal—two people]
- Palms face each other and only the fingers touch lightly
- Never interlace fingers
- Gloves are worn, blocking skin contact

[More Formal—fingertips only]
- Hold only the index and middle fingers lightly
- Used at a formal ball

[Meaning in the Novel]
- Fingertips only = distance
- Full palm contact = intimacy
- How Darcy and Elizabeth hold hands in their Ch.18 dance carries visual meaning

Reel (Scottish)

Faster and livelier
Four or more dancers
Many turning figures
The dance Darcy proposes to Elizabeth in Ch.10—a lively dance makes the proposal provocative

Quadrille (Formal Dance for Four Couples)

Four couples arranged in a square
Complex steps
Became popular in Britain around 1815; only just arriving at the novel’s date

Boulanger (Final Dance)

Last piece of the ball
Everyone arranged in a circle
Lively and sociable

4. Table Manners

Seating Arrangement

[Formal Dinner]

[Host]                              [Hostess]
   ↓                                   ↓
   ━━━━━━━ Dining Table ━━━━━━━

   Beside the hostess = principal guest
   Beside the host = second-ranking guest
   Bottom of the table = lowest rank or relatives

[Examples from the Novel]
- Ch.29 at Rosings: Collins sits at the bottom, the lowest seat
- Supper at the Ch.18 ball: Elizabeth and Darcy sit opposite one another—deliberate placement

Serving Food (à la française)

[Method]
1. Place every dish on the table at once
2. The host begins carving the principal dish
3. Each diner serves themselves from nearby dishes
4. Ask a neighbor for distant items:
   “Could I trouble you for the salt?”
5. The meal lasts one to two hours

Basic Manners

Action	Manner
Napkin	On the lap, not tucked into clothing
Fork	Left hand, in the British style
Knife	Right hand
Cutting food	Cut only one bite at a time
Food in the mouth	Do not speak
Wine	Ritual of drinking with a neighbor: “I drink to you”
Leaving during the meal	Extremely rude

After Dessert

1. When the hostess rises, every woman rises
2. The women withdraw to the drawing room
3. The men remain at the table for port and political conversation
4. After 30 minutes to an hour, the men join the women for tea or coffee

5. Drawing-Room Manners

Seating Arrangement

[Standard Arrangement]
- Hostess: beside the tea table and teapot
- Female guests: near the hostess
- Men: at liberty to stand or sit
- Elderly people: armchairs near the fireplace

[Activities]
- Drinking tea
- Card games
- Music at the piano
- Embroidery and sewing
- Reading, possible but socially disengaged
- Walking in the garden

Pouring Tea

[The Hostess’s Ritual]
1. In some households, put milk into the small cup first
2. Pour tea
3. The guest adds their own sugar
4. Pass cup and saucer to the guest

[Guest Manners]
- Hold the saucer in the left hand and cup in the right
- Sip
- Make no loud noise

6. Calling Manners

Morning Call

[Rules]
- A “morning call” actually takes place between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m.
- Stay only 15–30 minutes; a long visit is rude
- Receive callers in the drawing room, never a bedroom or dining room

[Procedure]
1. On arrival, present a visiting card or be announced in person
2. Be shown into the drawing room
3. The hostess enters and greets the caller
4. Brief conversation: weather, health, gossip
5. Tea is offered and accepted or declined
6. After a short time, rise, take leave, and depart

[Meaning of the Visiting Card]
- “I have called”—notification of the visit
- A folded corner means the caller came in person rather than sending a servant
- Creates an obligation to return the call within a week

Application in the Novel

Ch.3: Bingley returns Mr. Bennet’s call and stays ten minutes—formal
Ch.55: Bingley stays an hour—a sign of intimacy
Ch.55: Miss Bingley pays a brief, cold return call—maintaining distance

7. Entering and Leaving a Carriage

Carriage Manners

[Order of Boarding]
1. Highest-ranking woman first
2. Other women
3. Men last, or on the box/horseback

[Seats]
- Forward seat, facing the direction of travel = seat of honor
- Back seat, facing backward = lower-ranking seat

[Alighting]
1. A man gets down first
2. He offers his hand to assist a woman
3. She takes his hand while stepping down—a rare opportunity for physical contact

Meaning in the Novel

When leaving Pemberley in Ch.43, “Mr. Darcy handed the ladies into the carriage”—Darcy’s hand touches Elizabeth’s or Mrs. Gardiner’s hand.
In an age of very little physical contact, carriage assistance is a legitimate moment of intimacy.

8. Writing, Folding, and Sealing Letters

Posture When Writing

[At the Desk]
1. Place the writing paper at an angle
2. Hold the quill in the right hand near the inkpot
3. Use the left hand to hold down the paper
4. One sheet takes about 20–30 minutes

[Wrong Posture = Poor Manners]

Folding a Letter

[Traditional Method—No Envelope]
1. Write on one side, leaving the other blank
2. Fold horizontally into thirds
3. Fold vertically again
4. Write the address on the outside
5. Seal with wax and a stamp, using the family seal if available

[Example from the Novel]
- Darcy’s letter in Ch.35: “two sheets of letter paper, written quite through, in a very close hand”
- Darcy unusually uses an **envelope**: “envelope containing two sheets”
- This signals secrecy + refinement

Receiving a Letter

[Manners]
- Do not read it instantly; pause briefly to show emotional control
- Read a private letter when alone
- If reading before family, read only briefly
- Reply promptly as a matter of courtesy

Application in the Novel

Ch.21, Miss Bingley’s letter: Jane goes upstairs to read it alone—she senses bad news
Ch.46, Jane’s letter: Elizabeth reads it immediately—an emergency

9. Bedroom and Private-Space Etiquette

Rules of Entry

[Who May Visit]
- Bedroom: family only (sisters and parents)
- A boudoir with a writing desk: close female friends
- Study: family + close friends

[Forbidden]
- An unmarried man and woman alone together in a room = scandal
- A member of the opposite sex in the bedroom = absolutely forbidden

[Examples from the Novel]
- Darcy + Elizabeth alone together in the drawing room (Chs.32, 34) = already a serious breach of formality
- The looks exchanged by Miss Bingley, Mrs. Hurst, and others when Darcy enters the drawing room

Changing Clothes

[With a Lady’s Maid]
1. Unfasten the gown
2. Unlace the corset
3. Change the petticoat
4. Put on the new gown
5. Dress the hair
6. Change the shoes

[Without a Maid]
- Sisters help one another (the Bennet sisters)
- “Sarah, never mind Miss Lizzy’s hair” (Ch.55)—there is no time to spare

10. Use of the Hands and Arms

Walking Arm in Arm

[Rules]
- The woman stands on the man’s right
- She rests her hand on his arm rather than gripping it
- A sign of intimacy, but still within the bounds of formality

[In the Novel]
- Ch.43, Pemberley: Mrs. Gardiner–Elizabeth → Darcy–Mrs. Gardiner → Darcy–Elizabeth
  = changes of partner = a meaningful moment

Kissing the Hand—Almost Never Done

Hand-kissing is rare in England; it is a Continental custom.
If a character such as Wickham attempts it, the gesture comes across as oily and affected.

Use of the Fan (Women)

[The Language of the Fan—Often Unconscious, but Still Meaningful]
- Opening and gently waving it: composure
- Fanning rapidly: tension/excitement
- Hiding the face behind it: embarrassment
- Closing it: a signal that the conversation is over

[A Possible Scene from the Novel]
- Miss Bingley’s fan at a ball = a device for watching Darcy

11. Manners of the Gaze

Rules of Looking

[Permitted]
- Meet the other speaker’s eyes for one to three seconds at a time
- Receive the hostess’s or host’s gaze

[Forbidden]
- Staring openly, especially at a woman
- Looking someone up and down = extremely rude
- Watching what another person is eating during a meal

[Example from the Novel]
- Darcy often watches Elizabeth—Elizabeth notices in Ch.10
- “She hardly knew how to suppose that she could be an object of admiration”
- It remains unclear whether his gaze is rude or admiring

Smiling

[Degrees of Formality]
- A slight upward turn of the lips = standard
- A smile that shows the teeth = highly intimate
- Loud laughter = rude, especially for a woman

[Elizabeth’s Distinctiveness]
- “lively, playful disposition, which delighted in anything ridiculous”
- Her frequent laughter makes her more animated than most women and constitutes a subtle breach of the social code

12. Distance (Personal Space)

Standard Distance

[Ordinary Conversation]
- 1–1.5 metres (more than an arm’s length)
- Any closer = intimate

[Formal Greeting]
- 2 metres (formal distance)
- Step back, then approach to bow

[Dancing]
- Partners draw close only when joining hands
- Between figures, remain at least one step apart

[In the Novel]
- Darcy brings his chair closer to Elizabeth (Ch.32), then draws away again
- Emotional eruption → self-command

13. Frequency of Physical Contact (Low)

Permitted Contact

Contact	Situation
Handshake	A sign of intimacy (rare)
Taking an arm	While walking
Carriage assistance	Taking a hand while alighting
Dancing	Joining hands
Family	Sisters embracing or kissing

Moments of Physical Contact in the Novel (Rare)

Darcy + Elizabeth: the dance (Ch.18) + carriage assistance (Ch.43) + the walk during the second proposal (Ch.58)
There is almost no other contact, making every touch emotionally explosive.

14. Expressions of Grief and Anger (Restrained)

Emotional Control in Polite Society

[Permitted]
- A small sigh
- Turning the head away
- Silence
- Leaving the room

[To Be Restrained]
- Loud weeping (only when alone)
- Shouting in anger
- Exaggerated gestures

[Breaches in the Novel]
- Mrs. Bennet’s attacks of nerves = lack of restraint
- Lydia’s excitement = breach of manners

Scenes of Genuine Emotional Eruption (Restraint Breaking)

Ch.34, Darcy: “walked with quick steps across the room”—an eruption of anger
Ch.34, Elizabeth: after rejecting him, she “cried for half an hour”—but only when alone
Ch.46, Elizabeth: she weeps before Darcy—the crisis destroys her self-command

15. Screen and Stage Direction Checklist

Check in Every Scene

Are the gestures of greeting appropriate to the level of formality?
Does the seating arrangement reflect rank?
Is the frequency of physical contact appropriate to the period?
Are the manners of the gaze accurate?
Is a lady’s maid present while a woman dresses or undresses?
Is the order of boarding the carriage correct?
Are letters folded and sealed correctly?
Are the dance movements historically accurate?
Does the seating at the table follow formal convention?
Is emotional expression restrained?

Common Errors in Modern Dramas

❌ Handshakes are far too frequent
❌ There is too much physical contact (a modern sensibility)
❌ Voices and laughter are too loud
❌ Gazes are too direct
❌ People stand too close together
❌ Changing clothes happens too quickly and without a lady’s maid

16. Character-Specific Body Language

Elizabeth—Active + Slightly Transgressive

Walks quickly
Occasionally laughs loudly
Uses animated gestures
Meets others’ eyes directly, even challengingly

Darcy—Restraint + Silence

Moves slowly
Allows long silences
Holds a deep, lingering gaze
Barely moves his hands, even while speaking

Mrs. Bennet—Exaggeration

Fans herself frequently
Sighs loudly
Gestures extravagantly
During an attack of “nerves,” reclines in a chair and hides her face behind her fan

Mr. Bennet—A Posture of Detachment

Sits deep in his chair
Rarely looks up from his book
Sometimes turns his back on family conversation

Lydia—Lack of Restraint

Runs about (“flew about the house”)
Laughs loudly
Disregards manners

Lady Catherine—Domination

Holds herself rigidly upright
Stares directly to exert pressure
Uses commanding gestures

Collins—Excess

Repeats deep bows
Rubs his hands together in flattery
Inclines his head frequently

Wickham—Seductive Manners

Smiles gently
Stands at an intimate distance, breaking convention
Holds the gaze for a long time, seductively

17. Body-Language Guide to Key Scenes

Ch.34: The Proposal

[Darcy’s Movement]
- Enters the drawing room, confident but tense
- Sits → rises → paces about the room
- Approaches Elizabeth “in an agitated manner”
- Speaks the proposal with heightened intensity: “dwelt on with a warmth”
- After her rejection, leans against the mantelpiece to absorb the shock
- Finally crosses the room with quick steps

[Elizabeth’s Movement]
- Remains seated in surprise
- Does not rise, maintaining her posture
- Keeps that posture even while refusing him
- Flushes with anger
- Collapses only after Darcy leaves

Ch.46: News of the Elopement

[Elizabeth]
- Springs from her chair with the letter in her hand
- Rushes toward the door
- Encounters Darcy and stops
- Her legs give way, and she sits again
- Covers her face with a handkerchief
- Sobs

[Darcy]
- Is startled as he enters
- Approaches, then moves to summon a servant
- Attempts to comfort her
- Paces the room as he forms a private resolution
- Gives her one final look, then leaves

Ch.58: The Second Proposal

[Both]
- Find themselves alone during a walk
- Elizabeth speaks first to express her gratitude
- Darcy stops
- They face one another
- They resume walking slowly as they talk
- They do not hold hands, maintaining decorum
- Their gazes, however, deepen
- At the end, they may naturally join hands as they walk home